At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
be right there i have to get my cape
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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