I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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