so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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