there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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