Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
