I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
