u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize