Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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