Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
