I'm going to jail i love you
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
