you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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