Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
