I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
and you fell through a lawn chair
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
