So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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