My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
