Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ladies don't puke and tell
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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