Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
