just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
