why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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