i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
