Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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