Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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