i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
