She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
