Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
