I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
