Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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