What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
