Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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