thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize