My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
