I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
