3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
