it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
