its not stalking. its research.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
