I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
