i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
