Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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