Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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