Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
