with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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