oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
