Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All I want is dick and wine.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
