I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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