Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
