Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
