Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude i'm inner monologue high
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
