Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
