so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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