I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
