i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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