You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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