and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
