sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
how drunk are you?
Several
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
