He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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