You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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