I take back everything I said about communal showers
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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