I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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